A Eulogy for My Dad
Mel Snider – April 28, 1944 – February 19, 2021
My dad died unexpectedly last weekend. We were braver and stronger together! I got to speak at his Celebration of Life Service. Here is most of what I said. It has some religion in it, since my dad and I are followers of Jesus. But death usually causes us to think about religion anyway...
What do you say about your own dad at his memorial service. There’s so much I could say. So much I want to say. So much that I did say. All of us are playing those conversations in our head. Everyone here – what did I not get to tell him.
I can say that, by God’s goodness and grace, my dad and I had some really great and deep conversations this year. We made some really meaningful moves in our relationship. We were both so content and confident in our love for each other…We didn’t know it was just in time.
I was thinking about what to say about my dad that would help us all celebrate his life, and give power to his legacy. And I kept thinking about our story.
But I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell much about that story, because I didn’t want it to be about me, but about him.
But then it occurred to me that telling just a little bit about our story would be telling his story. Because my story with my dad and his story with me was our story with each other.
And it is the same for you – your story with my dad is his story because it is your story – his and yours. He impacted all of us here and 100’s and probably 1000’s not here. So I will tell you a little of our story with two intentions: to honor and celebrate my dad and to illicit you to remember your story with him too.
Before my dad got to meet the love of his life, his wife Joy, my step mom, he had a short chapter in his life. I am a part of that chapter – he would say the best part of that chapter. He let my family that raised me give me a different last name,
But I am a Snider through and through. I wear a chain around my neck that reminds me who I am – a cross to remind me I am a follower of Jesus and a Snider and a dog tag with an “S” on one side and “Snider is my 1st name” on the other side.
I was fascinated with him before I even remember meeting him. We had a big gap in our relationship from the time I was about a year old until I was 16. Even though there was a gap, I was always fascinated by him – obsessed would probably be a more accurate description. And then I got to meet him and the fascination grew.
I discovered a whole new family - a stepmom who loved me, two sisters and a brother that loved me, aunts, uncles and cousins galore!
I could tell how much he loved me. He showed it outwardly in action and attitude. Like he showed it to all of you.
He loved his family. He loved his friends. He loved Jesus. He loved his life. I saw it. I experienced it. I was changed by it.
My dad did a lot of loving on people! He was generous with his love! Isn’t that why you are here?
You saw it. You experienced it. You were changed by it.
I am at a quandary these last days. I am devastated at his loss, disoriented by his passing, but oriented by his living.
Missing his greeting when come into the house. Trying to sleep in their house, and he is not downstairs. I can no longer chat with him about my church, about my challenges, about my successes, about my wife who he loved so much – maybe even more than me – but then who wouldn’t…
So I am left with this great pride in the joy of being a Snider, of being Mel’s son, while being overcome with bouts of emotion that totally hijack my body and my spirit. You know when you shake your head like “ it’s not real”, trying to jostle out the reality of his passing. But it’s real.
We are here - celebrating his life because he has passed. We are here celebrating his life because his living is worth celebrating over!
My dad was magnificent in so many ways.
But you know who else is magnificent. You are! You bear the image of Jesus, the Savior my dad worshipped and lived for. My dad’s life was large because his Jesus is large.
And here you sit, bearing the image of that God my dad loved. Being joyful and sorrowful in the same moments - like only image bearers of God can do.
So my encouragement today as you remember my dad, is to remember your story with him. Remember it well and remember it concisely.
And then, remember who motivated him to make a story like that. Be joyful. Be sorrowful. Remember your moments with him. Let them inspire you to create similar moments.
As we do that, his legacy will keep having impact.
I didn’t know my dad’s favorite verse. It is Ephesians 3:20. I want to read that passage to you as a prayer:
14 For this reason we kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 we pray that out of your glorious riches you may strengthen us with power through your Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith. And we pray that we, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that we may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to you who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to your power that is at work within us, 21 to you be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
That is my prayer for you. I am confident that is my dad’s prayer for you too
May it be said of us; May it be so of us.
It is being said of my dad, It has been so of my dad.
#braverandstrongertogether #melsnider #loveofafather #loveofason #deathcomestoall #legacyprecedesdeath #legacyfollowsdeath #whatisyourlegacy
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